Letter #132: The Third Element
Why Joy is Hard to Find
Mon Cher Spensoir,
I’m delighted to hear I once said something useful. You seem to have turned out well, and I’ve been looking for a way to take the credit.
I’m also delighted that you’ve returned us to the end of letter #127: “to see this world joyfully requires… a genuine spiritual effort of transformation, day after day.” And yes, sins are the obstruction to that effort.
For the moment, let’s put aside sins against others — acts that require punishment, restitution or apology. Let me focus on what we do to ourselves.
I was given an insight through a recent failure of mine.
As a young artist, I wanted to experience all kinds of art and never turned away from something just because I found it wicked or otherwise awful. Nowadays, though, when I’ve pretty much seen everything, I find there are some images I simply don’t want in my head. Horror movies full of needless gore, specifically, give me little, but overlay my worldview with a completely unnecessary pall of disquiet and disgust.
The thing is, though, I’m drawn to these movies. It requires discipline for me to stay away.
Recently, my discipline broke. I love the old film The Omen and read online that the prequel The First Omen was, like the original, more eerie than disgusting. When instead I found myself watching graphic — even pornographic — gore, I quickly turned it off. But I was seriously angry at myself. I felt guilty for indulging in something I knew wasn’t good for me.
Guilt, though, is of limited use. There’s a reason they call the devil Satan: The Accuser. A swiftly administered smack in the forehead is worthwhile. But ongoing guilt keeps you ensnared in the moment of your error. Say your prayers and move on.
But how? Here’s what I found: three elements are in play.
In his wonderful book Symbolism And Belief, philosopher Edwyn Bevan points out that the words soul and spirit mean two different things in the Bible. Everyone has his own soul. The spirit is a gift of God given to the faithful. As our old friend Thomas Traherne points out, when you see something, it exists within you. When you have faith, you “see” the spirit.
Living into that gift — that’s element one: that’s the goal; that’s where the joy is.
The second element is our spiritual enemy. He puts obstructions in our way. They’re different for each person. I would never tell someone else not to watch horror movies. But when I look at them, mine eye offends me. So I should cut it out.
The third element is the big one though: me. My motivation. I desire the obstruction. The very pleasure I get from watching horror is the hurt it does me. It’s not the taste of the poison I enjoy, it’s the death itself.
That’s the insight. And it’s not just me, is it? We yearn for God, but it’s death we desire.
Your horrifying father.
It’s been very noticeable to me as a Baby Boomer that the “horror” movies of my childhood and teen years now appear so tame and kitschy as to seem comical rather than frightening (paging Vincent Price…). As for television, depictions of graphic brutality have in recent years become routine. It has become increasingly difficult for my husband and me to find police and detective dramas to enjoy watching together, because I just can’t and won’t tolerate the seemingly obligatory torture scenes. References to and graphic suggestions of a particular [once considered perverted] sexual act are also distressingly difficult to avoid. I believe these things are intended to desensitize us to evil, and to create feelings of isolation and despair in those of us who resist desensitization.
Jesus Christ offers redemption from the unrighteous desire for death. That’s why he came, to save us from our own self-destruction inspired by the enemy of our souls, embedded deep in the flesh. Choose Him, follow Him and leave the hell-scape of misery, the deep sleep of hell. I plagiarize His word and thank you for the platform .