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Joshua Tobler's avatar

This is why I found unhelpful the advice I often received as a child: "just be yourself." What "self" was I supposed to be? Which properties of my own soul were supposed to form a guide for my behavior? My values? I was a child and can hardly be said to have had values. My impulses and natural inclinations? Surely THAT can't be a reliable guide for behavior!

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Sierra Charlie's avatar

The rape of Tamar is a tragic tale in the Bible. It is perhaps meant as a lesson that you, too, Mr. Klavan, are giving. Tamar, Princess of Judah, was beautiful, stunning even. She was sister of Absalom and they were half-siblings of Amnon, eldest son of David and heir to the throne.

Amnon was smitten with Tamar and, while he was half-brother of Absalom, they were also best of friends. Amnon used that friendship to trick his brother into sending Tamar to nurse him, when he, Amnon, feigned illness. While she tended to him, he tried to woo her and, when that failed, he forced himself upon her.

After he’d raped her, instead of hating himself for his sin, he hated Tamar and sent her out of his sight. Tamar fled the palace permanently and went to live with Absalom. When he found out, Absalom threw a feast and has his servants kill Amnon while he was drunk.

As a lesson, it is clear. Not only is it the sin of violating another human being, or the law, but it won’t bring you the pleasure you think it will bring you. It what destroy you, your family, and the family of the person you hurt. And then there is all the unknown, such as the revenge of Absalom. Sating your physical desires can have any number of undesirable effects, in the end.

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