I was raised by parents with peak boomer mindset. By the time I got to high school, I realized that my entire life (very much following the advice of my parents) was a fruitless disaster. My teenager rebellion was that I turned to God, adopted religious rituals, and got my life in order. And, somehow, it has left my parents completely dismayed. I acknowledge it must be difficult to see your children turn away from your values…but by the fruits ye shall know…and it’s quite obvious I have been richly blessed. It’s an unfortunate reality that as the younger generation fumbles its way to the true and the beautiful that they will likely be met with indignation from their elders. This younger generation is in uniquely uncharted territory. Yes, may we pray that somehow it works out in our favor. Efforts like this Substack give me hope that at least someone has their eyes set on a higher and holier way than those of the past.
Our customs and traditions were halted so dramatically during the covid hysteria of 2020, that it revealed self-preservation was of the upmost importance in the lives of many adults. The entire worlds of children were dismantled under the same guilt-freeing line used in divorce, 'children are resilient'.
Luckily my children had me. All the noise from outside forces; the ones that seem to pull our offspring from anything true and good were knocked down to a whisper for a while. We got to actually raise our children again.
Kids got a chance to see that there is no such thing as the real world as explained in school and media. Parents got the chance to pay attention to their children and instill their beliefs in them.
Your dad had a satirical monologue one day during the beginning of lockdowns lamenting all the time we'd have to spend with our kids instead of watching porn and so on. This really changed my perspective and made me grateful to have that precious year alone with them.
I think this is related to your letter but lost the how. Anyway, it was the greatest year of my life.
I don’t think the “be whatever you want” was bad advice. I’m a late-ish boomer and the Greatest/Silent Generation said it to me, as well. The idea, at least at that time, was this: pick whatever you want and do it, but stick with it, be great at it, and you’ll go far. The idea wasn’t that you could do everything, but any one thing—or even several. Brian May, for example, is a guitarist AND astronomer.
Unfortunately, a certain segment of society has taken the “you can do anything you want” far too literally: men can become women; women can become men; men can menstruate and get pregnant; a trans-woman is a real woman; there can be a two-state solution; you can spend your way out of debt, and much more. They took good advice and turned it on its head.
True enough about the literalism: "anything you want" was supposed to imply "if you set your mind to it," not "irrespective of moral limits." But even in that narrow sense, it's just not true. I could have been a lawyer if I had wanted, but not a pro basketball player, no matter how hard I worked. There was this Malcolm Gladwell "10,000 hours" mentality that just flatly denied the reality of natural aptitudes, missed childhood training opportunities, etc. And I at least was also told about a million times that "if you pick something in college and it doesn't work out, you can change your mind." Well, kind of, but actually if you want to be at the top of your field you start falling behind real quick if you don't grab the early opportunities--the realities of competition also set in. The Brits are better at acknowledging this than us. For me at least, the gospel I was preached on this subject had some value to it, but also some willful dishonesty and some serious blind spots, even if charitably interpreted.
I've always took it to mean "given infinite time and resources, you can do anything you want." Time and resources being necessarily finite, you need to work to aptitudes to see what you can actually get to given the time and resources you have. I know that post reformation Catholic moral theologians came up with a useful term to describe this: morally impossible, also known as "theoretically possible, but you're an idiot if you count on it."
One of the delights of attending the traditional Latin Mass at my Carmelite parish is seeing young families roll in with four, five, six kids in tow, with Mom and the girls usually veiled, and Dad and the older kids helping out. Our disapproving betters would attribute a lack of education and outmoded patriarchal values to this little tableau, but you know that back home, there's probably Aristotle and Aquinas and Guardini on the shelves. The sight of these young families always gives me hope, even as I'm aware of how difficult it must be to keep things together.
"But a middle-class B+ student who tries to live his life like a Bohemian vision quest will find out in short order that there is, in fact, such a thing as the real world." - so very well said. (also, love the expression, "Peak Thong".) Thanks for the insight, Spencer.
Spencer - still enjoying your writing, thank you for sharing. The one exception I would take is that Mayer is a one in a million guitar talent. I can't think of 10 guys who can do what he's doing better, which would put him closer to the one in a billion range. Even if you include the classical guitar side of things, he's still one in five hundred million or so.
I was raised by parents with peak boomer mindset. By the time I got to high school, I realized that my entire life (very much following the advice of my parents) was a fruitless disaster. My teenager rebellion was that I turned to God, adopted religious rituals, and got my life in order. And, somehow, it has left my parents completely dismayed. I acknowledge it must be difficult to see your children turn away from your values…but by the fruits ye shall know…and it’s quite obvious I have been richly blessed. It’s an unfortunate reality that as the younger generation fumbles its way to the true and the beautiful that they will likely be met with indignation from their elders. This younger generation is in uniquely uncharted territory. Yes, may we pray that somehow it works out in our favor. Efforts like this Substack give me hope that at least someone has their eyes set on a higher and holier way than those of the past.
Our customs and traditions were halted so dramatically during the covid hysteria of 2020, that it revealed self-preservation was of the upmost importance in the lives of many adults. The entire worlds of children were dismantled under the same guilt-freeing line used in divorce, 'children are resilient'.
Luckily my children had me. All the noise from outside forces; the ones that seem to pull our offspring from anything true and good were knocked down to a whisper for a while. We got to actually raise our children again.
Kids got a chance to see that there is no such thing as the real world as explained in school and media. Parents got the chance to pay attention to their children and instill their beliefs in them.
Your dad had a satirical monologue one day during the beginning of lockdowns lamenting all the time we'd have to spend with our kids instead of watching porn and so on. This really changed my perspective and made me grateful to have that precious year alone with them.
I think this is related to your letter but lost the how. Anyway, it was the greatest year of my life.
I don’t think the “be whatever you want” was bad advice. I’m a late-ish boomer and the Greatest/Silent Generation said it to me, as well. The idea, at least at that time, was this: pick whatever you want and do it, but stick with it, be great at it, and you’ll go far. The idea wasn’t that you could do everything, but any one thing—or even several. Brian May, for example, is a guitarist AND astronomer.
Unfortunately, a certain segment of society has taken the “you can do anything you want” far too literally: men can become women; women can become men; men can menstruate and get pregnant; a trans-woman is a real woman; there can be a two-state solution; you can spend your way out of debt, and much more. They took good advice and turned it on its head.
True enough about the literalism: "anything you want" was supposed to imply "if you set your mind to it," not "irrespective of moral limits." But even in that narrow sense, it's just not true. I could have been a lawyer if I had wanted, but not a pro basketball player, no matter how hard I worked. There was this Malcolm Gladwell "10,000 hours" mentality that just flatly denied the reality of natural aptitudes, missed childhood training opportunities, etc. And I at least was also told about a million times that "if you pick something in college and it doesn't work out, you can change your mind." Well, kind of, but actually if you want to be at the top of your field you start falling behind real quick if you don't grab the early opportunities--the realities of competition also set in. The Brits are better at acknowledging this than us. For me at least, the gospel I was preached on this subject had some value to it, but also some willful dishonesty and some serious blind spots, even if charitably interpreted.
I've always took it to mean "given infinite time and resources, you can do anything you want." Time and resources being necessarily finite, you need to work to aptitudes to see what you can actually get to given the time and resources you have. I know that post reformation Catholic moral theologians came up with a useful term to describe this: morally impossible, also known as "theoretically possible, but you're an idiot if you count on it."
They took “you can do anything you want” as “you can do everything you want.”
Dayum, Spencer! Why are you coming at me with this?
I was a B- student trying to live life like a Bohemian vision quest. It only took me 20 years to find out there is such thing as a real world.
One of the delights of attending the traditional Latin Mass at my Carmelite parish is seeing young families roll in with four, five, six kids in tow, with Mom and the girls usually veiled, and Dad and the older kids helping out. Our disapproving betters would attribute a lack of education and outmoded patriarchal values to this little tableau, but you know that back home, there's probably Aristotle and Aquinas and Guardini on the shelves. The sight of these young families always gives me hope, even as I'm aware of how difficult it must be to keep things together.
If both strains of this rejection of the thing handed down are able to persist, then would not culture bifurcate, and never the twain shall meet?
"But a middle-class B+ student who tries to live his life like a Bohemian vision quest will find out in short order that there is, in fact, such a thing as the real world." - so very well said. (also, love the expression, "Peak Thong".) Thanks for the insight, Spencer.
Spencer - still enjoying your writing, thank you for sharing. The one exception I would take is that Mayer is a one in a million guitar talent. I can't think of 10 guys who can do what he's doing better, which would put him closer to the one in a billion range. Even if you include the classical guitar side of things, he's still one in five hundred million or so.